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Death Battle: Max Payne vs. Cowboy Bebop by SpikeJet2736
Death Battle: Max Payne vs. Cowboy Bebop
Disclaimer: I don't own the rights to either "Max Payne" or "Cowboy Bebop"

Film Noir and Hong Kong action cinema when someone asks you to combine the two (if that ever even happens) I'll bet the two that pop in your head are most likely Cowboy Bebop and Max Payne. The bad ass gunslinging loner with a dark past (Max Payne and Spike Spiegel) and the dangerous femme fatale (Mona Sax and Faye Valentine) of both series are going at it

Max and Mona are way better marksmen while Spike and Faye are way better melee fighters

Rule 1. No weaboos
Rule 2. Spike and Faye aren't allowed to use their space ships which is just wasteful just to try and take out two people. Not to mention Max has already fight off heavy fire powered flying vehicles before so there's that
What Video Games Gave Taught Me by SpikeJet2736
What Video Games Gave Taught Me
Disclaimer: I own none of these games

Video Games:
Legend Of Zelda: Ocarina Of Time
Super Metroid
Donkey Kong Country
Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons Of Liberty
Red Dead Redemption
The Last Of Us
Cowboy Bebop / Max Payne crossover by SpikeJet2736
Cowboy Bebop / Max Payne crossover
Disclaimer: I don't own the rights to either "Cowboy Bebop" or "Max Payne"

Spike: I went in there, playing it Bruce Lee like I've done a hundred times before

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Okay, from now on I don't wanna hear anyone call Evangelion pretentious ever again. Say what you will about animes like Ghost In The Shell, FLCL, Evangelion etc and how they're heavy handed, full of themselves, whatever but at least in those animes, SOMETHING WAS FUCKING HAPPENING!

and I know all Monogatari fans are gonna tell me that I don't "get it" to which I reply "What's there to get?" It's a fucking harem anime with a nice budget. It's about a bunch of assholes talking about NOTHING for what seems like a small eternity and then add in some supernatural shit about ghosts just so you can call it a plot and pretend that there's something there.

It's like the person who created this was like "Hmm, I want to make something that features all my otaku fetishes but I don't wanna seem like a pig so I'll give it a supernatural element so it'll seem like I'm not just making a harem anime and have the characters talk about mostly pointless shit but these conversations will go on for a long time so it'll seem avant–garde"

I'm going to give you some advice that if you're going to watch this show. Watch the first story arc only that for two reasons:
1. It focus primarily on Hitagi Senjougahara, she's really cool and the only character besides Kanbaru in this show that I find interesting (Seriously, why are purple hair women in anime so perfect?) and
2. You'll know what the show is like after that and there will be no reason to watch the rest at all, you won't be missing much.

Seriously, all these stories are the same exact story: Koyomi comes across a pretty girl (in the most empty town in the world apparently), finds out that she has a ghost problem with an animal theme, he tries to help (usually by bringing her to Oshino) and she gets better from the ghost in someway shape of form and I just gave you the whole show.

Usually in these story arcs, they spent about 3 quarters of the time talking alot about nothing important at all. A typical conversation in this show goes like this "Hey, I wonder if I have a sister complex. Anime fans love wincest shit so lets beat that shit into the ground until the actually conflict comes in" and then the actually ghost shit gets dealt with.

I wouldn't even mind this so much if they only did these scenes when the characters are bored and they have nothing better to do except they do it even in when they have something important to do. Like when Koyomi is taking Kanbaru to see Oshino to help fix her, you'd think this would be a good time to shut the fuck up, right? NO, they talk some more about if Koyomi makes a good Uke or not and all I'm thinking is "What the fuck does this have to do with anything?!" and I laugh soon after that because the scene ends with Koyomi saying "lets stop wasting time chatting and lets go" It's like the characters themselves know that what they're saying is bullshit.

Doesn't help that alot of the time there are these obnoxious title cards that keep popping up that are really only there to say shit that probably doesn't mean anything or to point out the blatantly obvious like when Oshino would call something Rainy Devil and then a title card would appear saying "Rainy Devil" like gee thanks, I really needed you to tell me that

The music's nice... when it's not constantly repeating itself and I don't mean they use the same songs but for different scenes, no I mean they repeat the songs on a 5 to 10 second fucking loop. You could say the the music needed to repeat itself to catch up with the dialogue which first of all, that's just shitty writing if that's the case but it's not, I've seen some episodes of Katanagatari (written by the same guy) and it didn't have this problem, the composer for this show did a terrible job, pure and simple. I felt like I was watching Manos: The Hands Of Fate with this fucking soundtrack. Hip Hop music doesn't repeat itself as much as this soundtrack does (I actually like hip hop btw).

Okay aside from everything else I've bitched about, what do I like? The art and animation. This is seriously one of the best looking animated tv shows I've seen. This animation is so good, it could probably work well for a movie or ova and there are alot of very striking imagery in this show and they're all very memorable. You could probably take a snapshot of almost any scene in this show, and put it in an art museum, it's that good but good art work and animation is about all this show has really

I haven't seen the other entries in the Monogatari series but from what I'm told, they seem to have even less of a story than Bakemonogatari and just seem to focus on the conversations and the fan service which you know what, that's fine if that's what you're into. If you like to watch this series for the witty banter and the fanservice then that's alright but lets not pretend that there's much to this show outside of that. I'd probably like these other ones better because they cut the bullshit and don't even pretend to be anything more than what they are or at least that's the impression I'm getting from them

I never want to hate something that's popular, why would I want that? I'm always upset that I don't love something the way most people do because I wanna share that love with people and have a good time, so if any Monogatari fan wants to enlighten me about this show, by all means you're welcome to try, maybe you can convince me and maybe I at least can understand why you like this outside of obvious reasons but as it stands this is just a pretentious, artsy, pointless piece of crap trying to appeal to the hipster otaku crowd and I personally wouldn't recommend it

Bakemonogatari Anime Review
Well, it was hard but I finally got through this crap
I hate it when I do but I'm updating yet another list of mine, actually two and those are my top favorite video game list and anime lists.
  • Listening to: AC/DC, Rolling Stones, The Who, Jimi Hendrix
  • Reading: Blacksad, Ronin,
  • Watching: Hellsing Ultimate, Gungrave
  • Playing: Bioshock, Mass Effect, Dishonored,
  • Drinking: water


SpikeJet2736's Profile Picture
United States
Favourite genre of music: jazz
Favourite cartoon character: Spike Spiegel

Top 4 Favorite animes:

1. Cowboy Bebop
2. Ghost In The Shell: Stand Alone Complex (1 & 2)
3. Baccano!
4. Samurai Champloo

sayings I like to go by:

A story is only as good as the person who tells it

I'm not against people disagreeing with me, I'm against idiots disagreeing with me

Just because your character has a sad back story doesn't mean he or she suddenly has an interesting personality

I judge things based on how they are, NOT how I remember them.

You have the right to an opinion, not to have it respected

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CZProductions Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Your thoughts on Kojima leaving Konami?
SpikeJet2736 Featured By Owner Jul 15, 2015
Konami are a bunch of assholes. That's the short version. I don't want Kojima to do nothing but Metal Gear games for the rest of his life but first of all, the fox engine is something he and his team made and Konami is just going to waste it all on mobile games and Konami is taking his baby from him. There's the real parents give their kid a proper burial and then there's the piece of shit who's pissing on the kid's grave. Sorry that got dark but you should see what I mean when I say I hate Konami. Now, we'll never get Silent Hills
JasonPictures Featured By Owner Edited Jul 9, 2015
Here's a Death Battle that involves Wendee Lee voicing two characters.…
JasonPictures Featured By Owner Apr 14, 2015
Here's a good battle to see.…
JasonPictures Featured By Owner Oct 12, 2014
Do you know Wendee Lee? If so...…
SpikeJet2736 Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2014
No offense but asking me (a Cowboy Bebop fanatic) if I know who Wendee Lee is like asking a Metal Gear Solid fan who David Hayter is but I'm sure it wasn't a seriously question.
CZProductions Featured By Owner Oct 11, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Just to let you know. That the new Blacksad: Amarillo is out now. 
SpikeJet2736 Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2014
Sorry for the late reply but fuck yeah can't wait to read it
CZProductions Featured By Owner Oct 14, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I got a copy today, and it was the last one in the shop.
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